How to Become a Better Thinker NOW

While reading a book with my husband, Sexual Wholeness in Marriage, by Dean M Busby, Jason S Carroll, & Chelom Leavitt … I came across a concept…Become…it gave me pause to really think.


As I read these quotes, my first thought was that my husband doesn’t really help me become…

It was immediately followed with the words, “What do you do to help him become?pablo-6

I was excited…the thought of what I could do had followed immediately behind my “old victim mode” of thinking!  YEA! I was changing…I was Becoming!


“Longing to Belong is shared by all people”, (Dean M Busby, Jason S Carroll, & Chelom Leavitt, Sexual Wholeness in Marriage, pg. 58).

I get Belonging … After all the Bible it says, “It is Not good for man to be alone.”
Being part of a family is belonging. The Need to belong drives us everyday, to be accepted, to be appreciated, and to have someone want us around–really like us around. Just look at so many Social Media posts. They share family pictures, family trials, hardships, family successes, family gatherings…We All share and want opportunities to belong.


“We each feel a need to develop to our fullest potential, to become what our unique combination of attributes and talents intended us to become.” (Dean M Busby, Jason S Carroll, & Chelom Leavitt, Sexual Wholeness in Marriage, pg. 59).

I wasn’t at all sure I got Belonging.  I’ve been discovering Great Headlines are important for all Bloggers. I found that when the word Become was added to any sentence…It soared off the charts in it’s ranking…Not just “How to find peace in any situation”; but so much better by adding “How to become peaceful in any situation”.

We are human beings that desire relations. We long for permanent, lasting relationships, but we are also independent individuals that desire to reach our full potential. Can you Remember when you’ve had a success…what did you do? You Share it! Bursting at the seams until you can tell someone!

So here in Utah, the weather has warmed and the rains have stopped enough that about 1 month ago we broke-out-the-tandem-bike. Riding is always license to think! And this morning? My thoughts were On Becoming…image-14

I have BECOME stronger! Every time I ride, I feel the burn in my thighs as I climb the hills. This morning the burn still came, but it was much later in the climb than the first time I rode! I am becoming stronger! However, when the burn persists, the doubting thoughts enter in…and this one wormed it’s way into my mind, “This is too hard…Just quit!”

Immediately it was followed by, “You can choose right now how you feel!” From then on the toughness of the climb was replaced with a “Hi!” expressed outloud, again and again as we passed bikers and runners. Each smile received, each kind word exchanged fueled me with happiness and purpose! I was happy! I had chosen to become a better me and with that choice I found joy and satisfaction.

Tandem biking is a practice of becoming. My husband a climber, loves LOW gear and grind it out. Me? I love consistent pace. I find a song with a wonderful beat, I’m instantly on the beat effortlessly and I want to stay on that beat! To ride successfully together I chose to help him become more beat-worthy (I found a splicer and we listen to the same music, with the same beat!) and I choose to practice going an overall slower pace sometimes. The results…SUCCESS!

Loving ourselves and others for who we can be entails recognizing when we are not acting our best and still being committed to helping in the reach for highest potential. This creates success in any relation.

4 Ways I Became Able to Choose?

First, Learning How to Become a person with Positive Mental thoughts … You CAN LEARN, too.
Second, Practice!
Third, Practice some more! This is the hardest thing for me…I’m basically lazy and lots of things came naturally to me…so why practice was a thought I’ve had often.
Fourth, Small Successes…so I rally want to practice more!

Simple, but not so easy!


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Robert Rea - June 9, 2016

I’ve always loved the fact that you actually think first and write with meaning. Taking the time to find your voice and share it with others and your Husband is just Great.
One thing that sticks out is -“choose right now how you feel!” – is a concept that when mastered is a way to improve one’s life. And the word “Becoming” a word I use little any more.
Once I began to hone the focus on the awareness of who I am already and Received that. Well that my friend is a long——-Story. Which I’ll post in the blogs. So much has been going on, I find it almost hard to start in a particular place. Hard means that I take the road less traveled and Learn about me and others. How great is that.
I pray your life is full and Happy.



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